Hi. This post I will share is about the story of a person whom I have met not for a very long time. Knowing that person gave me the reason for my existence...Hoping you'll find yours to,,,,
It has been how many days since New Year. I really thought it would be then again a great journey to life. But I stand corrected. It has been tough since January, of all the miserable things I have done and people did against me. I sort of lost my way home. Now, I am deliberately trying to find my way home. I'm trying to find myself.
January
I lost some. I lost my life. I gained it through a precious little box. A box I never opened. I never thought I would open, but have always considered it as special since then. This box I have been with through the happy and sad times of 2008. Surprised I was, when I opened it. I felt so happy, Yes, never been that happy. We sang. We danced. We made it through the storm. I made it with a box. I thought keeping it would cover and leave what I just lost. Tragedy was, the box never felt the same happiness I had in me.
February
I lost. I gained. I feared. I lost. I stood. In this same month, I tried being stronger, giving the box the key he was asking for. I thought I would have won. But still, I lost.
March
I lost. I gained. I feared. I lost. I stood. I won. I died. I don't know what to do. I don't really know who to trust. Everyday I wanna be alone. I want to find what's left of me. I keep every hour looking for a reason to exist. And yes, I found it. Those boxes I never have cherished and those boxes I never expected would slowly bring life to my wretched heart. Still, I am trying to get back home, bringing back the life that was taken from me by some treacherous box.
It has been how many days since New Year. I really thought it would be then again a great journey to life. But I stand corrected. It has been tough since January, of all the miserable things I have done and people did against me. I sort of lost my way home. Now, I am deliberately trying to find my way home. I'm trying to find myself.
January
I lost some. I lost my life. I gained it through a precious little box. A box I never opened. I never thought I would open, but have always considered it as special since then. This box I have been with through the happy and sad times of 2008. Surprised I was, when I opened it. I felt so happy, Yes, never been that happy. We sang. We danced. We made it through the storm. I made it with a box. I thought keeping it would cover and leave what I just lost. Tragedy was, the box never felt the same happiness I had in me.
February
I lost. I gained. I feared. I lost. I stood. In this same month, I tried being stronger, giving the box the key he was asking for. I thought I would have won. But still, I lost.
March
I lost. I gained. I feared. I lost. I stood. I won. I died. I don't know what to do. I don't really know who to trust. Everyday I wanna be alone. I want to find what's left of me. I keep every hour looking for a reason to exist. And yes, I found it. Those boxes I never have cherished and those boxes I never expected would slowly bring life to my wretched heart. Still, I am trying to get back home, bringing back the life that was taken from me by some treacherous box.
Only those who knew me could ever decrypt the my happiness, needs, problems, feelings...
...my life and...
...my story.
...my life and...
...my story.
This, I say, cyclones, storms, and disasters can be a blessing. Destroying the bad boxes is a blessing in disguise, allowing you to keep only those you truly deserve, and who truly treasure you more than what you have done, what you did and what you can be.
XoXo,
JiLL
JiLL
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